Ooooh good ole comparison. If you haven’t battled with comparison before, I need you to make a master class so I can pick you brain and learn from you. Want to know something I’ve realized in the last few months? That phrase – “comparison is the thief of joy” is 100% accurate. I can be going along with life, happy as can be, and then I come across something on Instagram that makes me feel like I’m behind or not successful enough, and just like that, I’m on a downward spiral. And with SO many amazing people sharing their lives online these days, it’s easy to make yourself believe these things. That includes work, life, marriage, families, travel, kids, etc.
I’ve touched on this topic here before, but wanted to dive a bit deeper because I feel like this might be something a lot of us struggle with. Am I wrong? Please tell me I am not wrong, I know I can’t be the only one. Personally, comparison is something I’ve struggled with over the years and have compared myself to family and friends in many different aspects. I try really hard to acknowledge when it’s happening so I can nip in the butt as quickly as possible and try to reflect and look at the things that I do have. Here are a few things I do when I feel it creeping in. I truly hope this is helpful to anyone needing to hear or read this right now!
Stop. Identify. Reflect. Learn
Four different thoughts right there. Stop. Identify. Reflect. Learn. These four thoughts or steps are things that help me work through that feeling of comparison when I start to feel it. I STOP, put the phone down, stop scrolling, just stop. I IDENTIFY what made that feeling of comparison come through. What was I looking at? Why am I feeling that from looking at that particular thing? I REFLECT on that identification and take a second with those feelings. And lastly, LEARN that these feelings of comparison happen but what do with those feelings and how you continue to move forward is what is important.
When I have feel that comparison thoughts coming in, I really like to just take a minute and say, you know what I may not have that or may not be there in my life right now, THAT IS OKAY and I have all of these incredible other things in my life and happening in my life.
This one is pretty simple and to the point but also hard at the same time. If you’re constantly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook or TikTok and feeling bad about yourself, GET OFFLINE! This has been hard for me for years because so much of my job and life is on social media and it’s hard to separate sometimes, but I’ve learned for my own health I need breaks. Not necessarily from you guys or my job, but when social media is part of your job (legit my job is a social media coordinator) and you’re constantly engulfed in what other people are doing who have the same job as you, it’s exhausting.
And I think this applies to EVERYONE, not just social media influencers, bloggers, etc. Whether you work in an office or from home or for yourself, there’s probably always someone who has the same or a similar job as you and feeling like they’re killing it and you’re not, is a great way to feel bad about yourself and start going down this spiral. So unfollow that person, mute them, whatever you need to do for you.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
I am incredibly lucky and I have a really small squad. I like it that way because those people are the people that make me better. They are the people that keep me positive in life and about life. Be sure that when you do go offline, that you’re surrounding yourself with amazing, positive and supportive people. Although for me comparison usually happens online, it can definitely happen in person too, even if I love the person I’m talking to.
This is kind of hard to share because I feel like it makes me seem like a jealous person, but I’ll even subconsciously compare myself to my friends sometimes. Like if something really great is happening for them, I’ll ask myself why it’s not happening for me and then my mind gets flooded with questions like: Am I not working hard enough? Could I work harder? Why don’t I have the things in life that they do? What do I have to change about myself to get that for myself? You get the point. So even if you are around amazing, positive and supportive people comparison can STILL be there. But just be aware of it and don’t start to resent that person for their success!
Do Things That Make Me Happy
I have recently started loving this idea of my making a list of my favorite things. Whether it is my favorite color, food, candy, movie, music/song, etc., it is a great list to make. When I am not feeling my best, I have this list of my favorite things that I know will make me happy. I highly recommend it! If I even feel a hint of the comparison game coming on, I’m learning to put down my phone and immediately do something that makes me feel happy and good about myself. I quite honestly have shared this with my friends and family as well and they have made their own so we can get behind this happiness path of life. I need to hear y’all’s favorite lists of things that make you happy so comment a few of those down below.
What do y’all do when you feel comparison creeping in? Please share with me because I want to learn and hear from y’all. Again, I hope this is helpful for anyone who needs it right now. As always, thank y’all for stopping by and reading. I will see y’all back here next time.