2019 was really a year of awakening for me, in terms of how I saw myself and how I wanted to better myself. I was physically not in a good place at all and once I started to change that, I started to see myself differently. When I started to lose weight and get back to a good place health wise, I started to like how I felt, how I looked, and how I was honestly moving around. With doing all of this, I felt like I started to have more fun and enjoy life. I will admit that when I start to not like how I feel or look, I take it out on myself and I have been trying to learn not to do that. I am very blessed that I have a great family and friends that support me, a roof over my head and food on the table, the ability to travel and see different parts of this world, and the presence of God in my life.
I know how lucky all of that makes me and I know how privileged I am to have that view and outlook of life for almost an entire year, but there are parts of the 2019 I wish I could change. What helps me not dwell on how bad I look or feel or what other people see me as, is realizing that those thoughts are probably really normal and that I have a ton of good in my life. Everybody goes through points in their life where they are doubting themselves or not liking certain parts of themselves.
In the past couple of years, I have definitely put the happiness of others above my own and sometimes when it comes to your own health and well-being, it is okay to be selfish and say it is my turn to be happy with myself and my life and what I want out of life. I know that I am not the only one out there that struggles with loving myself and the easiest way to get sucked into the black hole of it all is social media. I will admit that I will be scrolling on Instagram and will start comparing myself to the people that I am seeing and what they are doing and how they look.
You may be wondering, how did you become uncomfortable in your skin to begin with? I have never been the skinny girl and in elementary and middle school, was bullied for it. And I’m talking when I came to the pool, I would get oinked or moo’ed at. That’s really fun for a kid to go through isn’t it. But I can look back and say that it made me see myself differently and made me look at my health differently at a really young age. For years my weight has fluctuated, up and down with no real control over it.
I have never really been comfortable enough with myself to wear tank tops or tops that really show off my arms because of how they looked. I’m sure I am not the only one out there like that. My stomach is another place that I have never really liked showing off. When I started my 2019 journey, I started to see a real difference and even today, I work my butt off to keep my body at a place that I like it. But I realized that I can work out as hard as I like but I have to have fun in life, I have to have fun with my workouts, I have to have fun in my daily routine and do things differently and live a fulfilling life.
You know when you hear people say life is all about balance, I hate to say it but it is really true. I have found that to be comfortable in my own skin, I have to be happy with myself and how I see myself, how I feel in my body, how happy I am with the other parts of my life, like family, friends, work, etc. Ever person is going to be different with their formula of how they are comfortable in their own skin. For me, it is a physical basis because a workout can change my mood, how my body feels, and how I see myself. For others, it might be on a mental or spiritual or social basis.
Only you can figure out how to become comfortable in your own skin. But I encourage you to start with this, start working on loving yourself and make sure it is not in some selfish way, like really get to know yourself and love yourself and evaluate your life. It is a hard journey but one that will pay off. I have been doing this for a couple of years now and every year that passes I look at my life a little harder and make changes so that I can live a healthier and happier life. When 2020 started, I vowed I wanted to keep on the path that I was on and keep getting physically better but also start to see my body and myself in better ways and I am loving it so far.
When do you feel the most comfortable in your own skin? As always, thank y’all for stopping by and reading. I will see y’all back here next time.